A Loving Invitation to Set Yourself Free
Aloha beautiful Soul Fam,
So many of us are walking through life unknowingly carrying burdens that are unnecessary - shame, guilt, regret, and self-punishment can be so deeply embedded in our being that we mistake them as parts of who we are.
We don’t always realise it, but many of us have been quietly punishing ourselves for years….emotionally, spiritually, even physically. We sabotage our joy because somewhere deep down, we feel we don’t deserve it.
But here’s the truth:
You were never meant to suffer for your humanness.
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BUT Why Do We Punish Ourselves and What Does That Even Look Like?
We punish ourselves because, at some point, we internalised the belief that we were to blame for what happened, for what didn’t happen, or for how others treated us. It often stems from childhood moments where love felt conditional or safety was compromised. So our vulnerable hearts made meaning out of the pain:
“This happened because of me. I must be bad.”
And so, we begin to unconsciously punish ourselves, not with whips and chains, but with silent cruelty. Punishment can look like sabotaging relationships that feel too safe, numbing ourselves with substances or busyness, avoiding our joy, downplaying our gifts, over-giving to prove our worth, or endlessly criticising ourselves in our thoughts or the constant beating ourselves up (which is a topic I will definitely get to later on).
It is subtle, often invisible to the outside world, but the pain is deeeeeep.
And until we bring loving awareness to it, we continue the cycle, longing for freedom, while unknowingly reinforcing our own cage.
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Releasing the Illusion of Good and Bad
A big part of why we punish ourselves is because we’ve been conditioned to see life and ourselves, through the lens of duality - good or bad, right or wrong, worthy or unworthy.
But the truth is: THERE IS NO SUCH THING MY LOVES.
This black and white way of seeing keeps us trapped in shame. It turns our healing journey into a moral performance instead of a sacred unfolding. But you are not “bad” because you made a choice that brought pain. And you are not “good” because you got everything “right.”
We are all just souls UNlearning and remembering.
Everything you’ve done, every path you’ve walked, was just an attempt to return to love, even if the route was messy.
When we release the need to label ourselves as bad or good, we begin to see clearly. We begin to see ourselves the way Spirit does: with compassion, with kindness, and with deep unconditional love.
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Michael’s Story: From Punishment to Release
One of my beloved clients, Michael, has been deeply committed to his healing. Every fortnight, he drives 4-5 hours to sit with me. His devotion to his sacred journey has been nothing short of awe-inspiring and I am deeply honoured to be his guide.
Michael has seen me for around 10 sessions now and we have had some major breakthroughs and revelations, especially during our Sacred Journeying. And I am grateful that he has allowed me to share his story. Honouring you.
Michael has experienced some tough times in his life and in our last session - we dove into his relationship with cocaine. Michael has been using cocaine since the 1970s, what once began as a coping mechanism became a long-held relationship with escape. But instead of judging it, we chose to get curious. We sat with it in ceremony and asked, “What is this really about?”
What emerged was tender and profound.
Michael discovered that his use of cocaine was a way of punishing himself, for a moment long ago, when he was just a little boy in which he felt helpless watching his father abuse his mother. That tiny, innocent heart took on an impossible burden,
“I should have protected her.”
As we journeyed deeper into his body, he saw a vision: some barbed wire wrapped tightly around his heart.
When I asked, “Who put it there?”
He replied with quiet clarity:
“I did.”
And so, in that sacred space, Michael chose to remove the barbed wire.
Symbolically, he was releasing all the years of self-inflicted punishment.
Only then could we touch the true root of the pain, that inner child moment he’d been avoiding for decades.
And when Spirit revealed the truth…
He cried. Deep, soul-cleansing tears.
Not of shame….but of freedom.
We often believe that if we punish ourselves enough, we’ll redeem ourselves.
But love doesn’t need punishment.
Love needs deep presence. Compassion. Witnessing. Honouring. Reverence. Devotion
The journey of healing is not about perfection.
It’s about coming home.
To the parts of ourselves we’ve exiled in guilt and shame.
To the child within who still longs to be held and told, “You did your best. And that has always been more than enough”.
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An Invitation: Come Home to Yourself
This week, I invite you to pause and gently turn inward. Let this be a sacred moment where you choose to meet yourself not with judgment, but with reverence.
Here are some journal reflections to guide your journey:
Where in my life am I still punishing myself, consciously or unconsciously?
What does my self-punishment look like? Is it through silence, self-criticism, beating myself up (talking to myself unkindly), sabotage, denial of joy, overgiving, or addiction?
What belief am I holding that tells me I deserve this pain? Where did it come from?
What moment from my past still feels heavy on my heart? What would happen if I stopped running from it and simply held it with presence and love?
If my inner child could speak right now, what would they need to hear from me?
Where have I labeled myself as “bad” or “wrong,” and how can I begin to see that part through Spirit’s eyes?
What would my life feel like if I no longer needed to earn love through suffering?
Can I forgive myself? Can I allow myself to be free?
Let your answers rise without needing to fix or force anything.
Just witness. Just breathe.
Sometimes the deepest healing begins with simply allowing the TRUTH to be seen.
And always, always ask yourself:
“Is this love?”
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My Prayer for You
I pray that you remember who you are
Not who the world told you to be,
Not who you became in order to survive
But the radiant, worthy, deeply loved being you’ve always been.
I pray that you feel safe enough to soften.
To lay down the armour you no longer need.
To stop punishing yourself for things you were never meant to carry.
To meet the parts of you you’ve avoided - with compassion, not fear.
I pray that you know you don’t have to journey alone.
That Spirit and your divine family walks with you,
And that love is not something you must earn, it is the ground you already stand on.
I see you. I honour you. I love you.
And I thank you for your courage to remember.
Infinite divine love, light & bliss
Raizza Aguisanda
PS. If you feel called to commit to your journey of remembrance and divinity. I am here. Sometimes all it takes is just having the courage to take action and just show up.