When Fear Becomes Medicine

Aloha beautiful soul fam!

These last few days has been an intense journey. Let me tell you.

Earlier this week I went to walk Hippo and as we turned a corner, I saw a dog walking towards us off lead. Hippo was calm, but my whole body went into panic. I ran. Found myself sitting in the entrance of an apartment building, frozen. I could feel the fear rising like a tidal wave, moving through every part of me.

It was like my nervous system hadn’t caught up with life yet. I was still holding onto that dog blowout from the other day, and in that moment, fear became the driver.

And just when I thought that was it…the medicine kept unfolding.

The owner of the dog came over to check in. His name was Mark.
My mind replayed everything like a movie and I could feel the fear grip me again.
But then, he told me his dog’s name.
And something softened in me.

Her name was Hope.

Just that one word felt like Spirit whispering, "You're exactly where you're meant to be, Even this is part of the journey."

Later that day, I got in my car and played a podcast. When it finished, another episode randomly started playing but I didn’t choose it. It was called Mastering Fear. AND of course it was.

And when I finally arrived at the retreat that I had planned for a month, we were introduced to our guide for the next few days… and yep. His name was also Mark.

As he shared his story, something in me started leaning in. He talked about how he used to be a personal trainer, and now works with bioenergetics, bodywork, and yoga therapy. He shared openly about his 10-year journey through depression, rehab and panic attacks and how when a male client came in with even a trace of aggression, “Little Mark would get shit scared.” In that moment, I knew Mark was it.

I could feel his humanness, his truth, and I just knew, I wanted to go deeper with him.

Now, normally… I’d choose a female. That’s where I’ve always felt safe. So even trusting a male that I didn’t know to hold that space for me was huuuggge..But just last week, I asked Spirit to send someone who could hold me the way I hold others. Someone who could support me in clearing what’s still sitting in the deeper layers.

Spirit sent me Mark.

I had no idea what his sessions even involved, but my body said yes.

What unfolded was next level. He guided me through a breathwork process called Rebirthing, alongside energy work and bodywork. The breath acted like a wave, flushing old energies up to the surface. At multiple points I felt this crushing fear in my chest, a heaviness sitting right over my heart, it felt so heavy that I couldn’t move. I had to keep breathing through it, trusting it was rising to be released.

Every time I thought I couldn’t go deeper… my body showed me otherwise.

I cried. I trembled. I shook.
And he knew exactly where to apply pressure, physically and energetically to help shift what was stuck.

At one point, after a massive release, my whole body started vibrating internally. I could feel the frequency shift.
And then…something truly magical happened.

In the stillness of integration, I saw us no longer in the wooden healing hut. We were standing on a cliff, watching the sunset.
An eagle soared overhead.
And the light, it was flowing through my body like golden threads.

Mark’s medicine wasn’t just a technique. It was ancient. Deeply connected to the Earth. Wildly shamanic… even though, outwardly, he was just this caucasion Aussie guy.

What I received yesterday was an accelerated initiation. A fast track way for fear to move through me, for light to return, for my body to remember its power and clarity.

And it ALSO reminded me…

Sometimes Spirit sends the most unexpected guides and teachers.
Sometimes the message comes through a podcast we didn’t choose.
Sometimes the portal opens through a man named Mark and a dog named Hope.

Sometimes we just gotta trust.

And always, always, we are being guided.

Even in the fear. Even in the run. Even in the freeze. Even in the grief and the pits of darkness.
Even when it feels like we’ve lost our centre, divine love is always holding us.

Infinite divine love, light, bliss and liberation,

Divine Raizza Aguisanda